We are expecting again. With cautious optimism. I am 13 weeks 2 days as I write this. I cannot lie and say that I am not afraid. I am. Terrified at times, but at the same time I am very happy, and feel that we have been given once again a precious gift. My heart still aches for my Devyn, and all I will never be able to experience with him. And I do not want people to forget him, and think the I am all OK and everything is fixed now. It's not. But I do not want my fears to overshadow my love for this new baby, either. I know this pregnancy is not going to be a "cake walk" for me.